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Apr. 6th, 2009
[travel] Shiny happy tense border crossing
Apr. 6th, 2009 05:14 pmI crossed back into Israel from Jordan with a couple of people I had met during my Wadi Rum trip. They had been to Syria, so they had some hassle getting through. While they awaited their fate at the ultra-secure waiting room, I noticed the music that was playing in the background --- Monty Python's Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (unedited). This was followed by a saccharine Somewhere Over the Rainbow. This is especially interesting to hear while being surrounded by border guards with machine guns. It also recalls a particular scene from the 1997 movie Face/Off, which also featured men in machine guns superimposed with that song.
In other news, there appears to have been some kind of Christian holiday this past weekend, as loads of them (Copts, I think) were streaming out of Egypt into Israel, presumably to visit Jerusalem. I suppose that back in the day, the Christians needed something to compete with Passover.
[travel] The Jordanian dating scene:
Apr. 6th, 2009 05:19 pmI asked a hotshot young taxi driver about what it was liike to be a single guy in Jordan looking for love.
Here's what I learned:
According to him, there are two types of women... the ones men have sex with and the ones they marry.
It's hard to meet both kinds.
The former are basically a man's dirty secret... as a man, you don't tell your family about them, and you wouldn't want to tell your guy friends about them because other guys are "competition". You don't want to get seen in public with them, as anyone might tell your friends and family. So the entire relationship must be carried on as a secret affair in car seats, camp tents, and cheap motels far from their hometowns.
The latter type of woman is elusive. Generally men can only have short conversations with them to gauge mutual interest, followed by a request to the woman's father for permission to date. If this if granted (and it involves a resume-like presentation of whether they are marriage material), then the two potential lovebirds can meet in relatively crowded public places such as restaurants and parks. Due to cultural restrictions, on public displays of affection, these dates are generally limited to pure conversation, and the dating period can go on for several years. Dowries from the young men to the bride's family are still common, so the woman's parents often won't let her go until the man has proved his earning potential. Depending on the situation, there may be some fudging on the “no sexual activity before marriage” rule... however, in order to preserve the sacred virginity, the man will sometimes convince the woman to have anal sex.
However, the women from the former category who do have sex before marriage are basically regarded as spoiled. They basically have no option except to marry a very low-status man, stay unmarried, or emigrate. Well, there is another option. The women can have re-virginization surgery, which sews her up so that she looks like a virgin.
Apparently the cab driver would be fine with marrying a woman who had been surgically re-virginized, even if he knew about it, but would not marry a non-virgin. It's not because his family or hers would think less of it. It's is personal preference.
I asked him what the difference was, and he said that he could not figure out how to explain it to a foreigner. It's just a religious thing.
It's true that in the US (on average) men tend to want to have sex with “easy” women but marry women who present more of a “challenge”. Thus women are typically advised not to sleep with men on the first date. However, traditional Muslim society takes this spread to hypocritical extremes. The women who provide men the only outlet for their sexual urges prior to marriage are villified.
Ultimately I think that many social rules that deny people their natual urges (instead of harnessing them in productive ways) end up having a variety of negative consequences.
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Later I learned that discussion of sex is taboo in traditional Muslim society. Oops.
He started it though... after hearing a song by Shakira on the radio, he informed me of his urgent (and unfulfilled) desire to apply his tongue to her posterior, and demonstrated the technique with which he would endeavor to do so. I'd bet he'd skip the virgins-only requirement to marry *her*.
Here's what I learned:
According to him, there are two types of women... the ones men have sex with and the ones they marry.
It's hard to meet both kinds.
The former are basically a man's dirty secret... as a man, you don't tell your family about them, and you wouldn't want to tell your guy friends about them because other guys are "competition". You don't want to get seen in public with them, as anyone might tell your friends and family. So the entire relationship must be carried on as a secret affair in car seats, camp tents, and cheap motels far from their hometowns.
The latter type of woman is elusive. Generally men can only have short conversations with them to gauge mutual interest, followed by a request to the woman's father for permission to date. If this if granted (and it involves a resume-like presentation of whether they are marriage material), then the two potential lovebirds can meet in relatively crowded public places such as restaurants and parks. Due to cultural restrictions, on public displays of affection, these dates are generally limited to pure conversation, and the dating period can go on for several years. Dowries from the young men to the bride's family are still common, so the woman's parents often won't let her go until the man has proved his earning potential. Depending on the situation, there may be some fudging on the “no sexual activity before marriage” rule... however, in order to preserve the sacred virginity, the man will sometimes convince the woman to have anal sex.
However, the women from the former category who do have sex before marriage are basically regarded as spoiled. They basically have no option except to marry a very low-status man, stay unmarried, or emigrate. Well, there is another option. The women can have re-virginization surgery, which sews her up so that she looks like a virgin.
Apparently the cab driver would be fine with marrying a woman who had been surgically re-virginized, even if he knew about it, but would not marry a non-virgin. It's not because his family or hers would think less of it. It's is personal preference.
I asked him what the difference was, and he said that he could not figure out how to explain it to a foreigner. It's just a religious thing.
It's true that in the US (on average) men tend to want to have sex with “easy” women but marry women who present more of a “challenge”. Thus women are typically advised not to sleep with men on the first date. However, traditional Muslim society takes this spread to hypocritical extremes. The women who provide men the only outlet for their sexual urges prior to marriage are villified.
Ultimately I think that many social rules that deny people their natual urges (instead of harnessing them in productive ways) end up having a variety of negative consequences.
---------------------
Later I learned that discussion of sex is taboo in traditional Muslim society. Oops.
He started it though... after hearing a song by Shakira on the radio, he informed me of his urgent (and unfulfilled) desire to apply his tongue to her posterior, and demonstrated the technique with which he would endeavor to do so. I'd bet he'd skip the virgins-only requirement to marry *her*.
[travel] My week in Turkey
Apr. 6th, 2009 05:24 pmTurkey time
I haven't written about my week in Turkey. Turkey for me was defined very strongly by the people I traveled there with – a couple of friends from the US plus a friend-of-a-friend. They brought with them an intense intellectualism that I've really missed on the trip. We talked about all kinds of things – economics, psychology, religion (easy solutions to the Middle East crisis), and history. These discussions were usually intermixed with beautiful Roman ruins, Turkish baths, beautiful old neighborhoods, or other cultural treasures.
Things only went downhill when one of the friends left for the US (she had to get back earlier) and the other friend and the friend-of-a-friend started dating each other. I found myself in the odd situation of sometimes feeling like a third wheel on my own trip despite expressing this concern to them multiple times.
We spent a few days wandering Istanbul. However, despite the incredible beauty of Istanbul, the real highlight of Turkey was our car trip around the west coast. We started in Izmir and concentrated on various ruin sites. Ironically, the most well known ruin (Ephesus) was the least impressive. The real highlights were Pamukkale, an ancient Roman bath and city built on top of bizarre Yellowstone-like terraces of calcium carbonate from a nearby hot springs, Aphrodisius, a former Greek city spread out across a broad meadow, Miletus, a Roman ruin that is half-sunk, Atlantis-style, into a lake, and Pirene, a former Roman town perched on the side of a mountain. The locals we met out in the country were also a lot friendlier than they were in Istanbul. The tourist hustle was much weaker, and people started conversations with us out of genuine interest instead of as a play for our cash.
I haven't written about my week in Turkey. Turkey for me was defined very strongly by the people I traveled there with – a couple of friends from the US plus a friend-of-a-friend. They brought with them an intense intellectualism that I've really missed on the trip. We talked about all kinds of things – economics, psychology, religion (easy solutions to the Middle East crisis), and history. These discussions were usually intermixed with beautiful Roman ruins, Turkish baths, beautiful old neighborhoods, or other cultural treasures.
Things only went downhill when one of the friends left for the US (she had to get back earlier) and the other friend and the friend-of-a-friend started dating each other. I found myself in the odd situation of sometimes feeling like a third wheel on my own trip despite expressing this concern to them multiple times.
We spent a few days wandering Istanbul. However, despite the incredible beauty of Istanbul, the real highlight of Turkey was our car trip around the west coast. We started in Izmir and concentrated on various ruin sites. Ironically, the most well known ruin (Ephesus) was the least impressive. The real highlights were Pamukkale, an ancient Roman bath and city built on top of bizarre Yellowstone-like terraces of calcium carbonate from a nearby hot springs, Aphrodisius, a former Greek city spread out across a broad meadow, Miletus, a Roman ruin that is half-sunk, Atlantis-style, into a lake, and Pirene, a former Roman town perched on the side of a mountain. The locals we met out in the country were also a lot friendlier than they were in Istanbul. The tourist hustle was much weaker, and people started conversations with us out of genuine interest instead of as a play for our cash.
[travel] Independent women
Apr. 6th, 2009 05:28 pmI'd like to praise the independent women of the world. They have the balls (er... ovaries) to travel around the world alone, deal with cultures that don't think highly of their gender, and put up with constant harassment from local men, in order to get a chance to expand their minds with the experience. They usually have strong opinions and a lot of interesting things to say. They're hard to find, but are much easier to spot in out-of-the-way tourist sites as opposed to tourist beaches, resorts, tour groups, and major cities.
I'm starting to think about altering my travel plans post-Egypt to concentrate on places where I'd find more such people instead of just hitting major sightseeing destinations.
I'm starting to think about altering my travel plans post-Egypt to concentrate on places where I'd find more such people instead of just hitting major sightseeing destinations.
[travel] Turnip head
Apr. 6th, 2009 05:36 pmAfter I ran out of my supply of shampoo from home, I switched to just using bar soap to wash my hair. This worked fine for a whle... and involved fewer liquids and less mess. However, I recently started a new bar of soap... a turnip-based hippie concoction that I got in Thailand. This soap, unlike the lemongrass soap from the same Thai hippie soapmonger, had an interesting property. It made my hair clump up in a way similar to the greased look of the 1930s. At first I thought this clumping was caused by dust from the desert, so I added a lot more soap. The hair became thoroughly clumpy, but still easily moldable with a brush. However, the hair did feel and smell good that way, whereas the hair gel feel is icky. Furthermore, the hair is unaffected by rain or other issues. So if you ever decide to go for that look (which can work under the right circumstances), I have the perfect product for you.