[travel] Immortality

[mattbell]

The Pharaohs believed that the more times their name was written down (protected in a capsule-shaped cartouche), the more likely they were to achieve immortality. They weren't far off. Many early tombs were only identified with particular pharaohs because workers wrote things about them in the tombs.

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Based on what I've seen so far of numerous ancient empires, I now present Matt's guide on how to achieve immortality (or at least the closest thing to it) when you are the ruler of an ancient empire:

Have your minions carve monuments to you out of solid rock. Simply building the monument out of stone blocks, however large, won't do. (1) Preferably you should have several such monuments in various locations. Also, make sure that you find the driest climate possible for these monuments. (2) Cover these monuments with carved (not just painted) text describing the details of your life. Make sure there's something for everyone... laws, art, engineering, wars, politics, administration etc. Even though everyone knows your name, mention it lots of times. Also make lots of realistic statues. Now, even though your language is dominant, write (err... chisel) an identical summary of your life in several popular languages. (3) OK, here comes the weird part. Cover it all in plaster. (4) Also, don't bury a pile of treasures with you. (5) Everyone already knows how rich you are.

(1)Later civilizations often tore down the temples of prior civilizations because it's easier to quarry stone from some nearby heathen structure than a distant mountain. Earthquakes, invasive plants, and other problems have damaged stone block temples. Note the preservation of solid-rock Petra and Ellora.
(2)Stone in wet climates degrades much more quickly due to lichens, mosses, plants etc as well as erosion from sand and mud running over the stone.
(3)The Rosetta stone, which had the same proclamation in three languages, was the key to unlocking ancient hieroglyphics in the early 1800s.
(4)Many of the best-preserved ruins were well preserved because later empires covered the offending images in plaster.
(5)Almost every grave, however well hidden or booby-trapped, was eventually robbed.

Future empires will so surpass yours that they will view you as a curiosity rather than a threat. If you're interesting enough, they will be curious enough to study you.

What's that, you want true immortality, o great ruler?

Well, that's a tricky one. This will involve a great deal of effort, and there's no guarantee of what magic future generations can do. I need some help from my friends who do bio/cryonics etc. Here are some options I could think of... would they work?

- Cut off a small piece of yourself (yes, really), embed it in salt, let it dry, cover it all in tree sap, and put it in the dark. It will mummify your hereditary material.
- Invest in open sea exploration until you find distant lands to the north or south that are frozen all year. Build a tomb for yourself deep in the frozen earth. Leave the grave unmarked but scatter stone tablets with your name in the area.

What else would be possible?

 

Comments

[crasch.livejournal.com]

- Throw yourself into a peat bog.

- Embed your flesh in a giant pot of honey, and bury it deep underground.

[happyinmotion.livejournal.com]

You've seen some of these ideas?
http://www.ocrwm.doe.gov/factsheets/doeymp0115.shtml
http://www.extrememediastudies.org/extreme_media/10_contagion/pdf/Designingfordeeptime.pdf